An altercation in Ohio

Yesterday, oddly enough, I found myself in Ohio.


No, not for any special reason other than that I booked a late flight to FL and the cheapest option required strange routing (New Jersey to get to Florida, Ohio to get from FL to DC).

I had spent the weekend with S., and, for all practical purposes, it was a lovely weekend.

As I was passing through the security checkpoint at Cleveland airport, the normally nice (hey, it's Ohio, people are just nice to begin with) TSA guy took a look at my license and my boarding pass and said, "Oh, you live in DC, huh? You going fix this goddamn mess that your folks up there have put the rest of the country into?"

I tried being polite first. One, because I am normally always polite and, two, I wasn't sure what "mess" he was referring to. There are a lot of messes these days.

"Yep," I said, and smiled broadly.

He wasn't done. He wanted to vent.

"Good, because this whole goddamn economy has gone to hell in a hand basket and it's because we, good working class people like me, put our faith in you assholes up there to guide our country and now most of us are faced with losing our homes and our jobs...what do you think about that, missy?"

I was trying (so help me God, I was trying), so I said, "It wasn't ME who put you in that situation but I feel for you and I am sorry, my mother is going through the same thing right now."

"You work in the government?" he asked.

Not really, but sort of, I answered...close enough without being that close.

"Well, it's you smart asses up there in DC that have caused our economy to crash, our boys to get killed over in Iraq, and this whole country to look bad...what do you have to say to that, missy?"

Maybe it was the "missy" or perhaps it was the direct assault accusing me, ME, of having caused this man's (and perhaps all of Ohio's) woes. But I cracked. Lost my temper.

By this time, three other TSA guys had crowded around, sensing a hazing.

"Did you vote?" I asked him, looking him square in the eye.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" he asked, "What, are you accusing me of being unpatriotic or some such shit?"

He turned to one of his fellow TSA goons and scoffed, "Typical DC lingo."

"I am not FROM DC, with all due respect, sir. I am actually from Philadelphia, I just happen to work in DC."

"Whatever," he responded, sensing he might have picked the wrong fight with the wrong person.

"I agree with you that the economy is in the shitter, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are not going well, although I do think Iraq is getting better, and, for your exclusive information, I was one of the people who actually suggested how to execute the war....after I and many of my 'DC asshole colleagues' argued vociferously against it'...and was told to 'go to hell.'"

"I have stayed in DC for almost eight years, even though I hate it, to try to help fix the fucking mess that our country finds itself in. But let's be clear on WHO started this mess in the first place."

Now we had a crowd, and he was suddenly more than happy to push me right through the security line but I wasn't budging. A 'throw down' is a 'throw down' in my book. AND I had given him the chance to escape.

"Look," he says, "I didn't mean to be rude but you all up there, or those folks from DC and New York, have caused my house to devalue 45% since me and my wife bought it four years ago, I have taken a bath in the stock market, and two of my friend's kids have been killed in Iraq, I am a little pissed off at you folks in DC, that's all I am saying..."

I ask again, "Did you vote...like in 2000 or in 2004?"

"Of course," he snaps.

"Well, this is a democracy, as fucked up as it appears right now." "If you voted for George Bush, not once, but twice, then this is as much your fault as it is mine right now."

(I did not vote for Bush either time....and, although I am a lot more conservative than most of my friends on certain topics and I AM NOT a frothing Democrat...I knew/know a moron when I see one.)

"Oh...so now your gonna blame Bush, huh?" he asks.

"Yes, and I am also blaming you. I realize that you have a job that probably requires you to work 12 hour days and not get a lot of time to read the newspapers---New York Times or even the Cleveland Plain Dealer---but our country is fucked up right now because we are more prone to turn on the TV, believe the sweet talk, and blindly listen to the rhetoric instead of coming to our own conclusions"

"In short, we have become a nation of people that act like sheep. We follow a herder blindly without ever considering that we are being led far, far, astray."

"I grew up in a sometimes poor, sometimes wealthy, normal middle class family and I was taught, from the time I could read...to pay attention and read the paper and formed my own opinions instead of just trusting the words of the cute anchor on Fox or CNN...that's how I was raised."

"If you are pissed off that our country's economy is in a meltdown, that your house has lost nearly half of its value, and your friend's kids are getting killed in a war that was never sold to us correctly from the onset (And, believe me, this one is VERY near and dear to my heart), then I would suggest you start reading the paper and paying attention."

"And STOP accosting people at the security line at the airport because somewhere, deep down inside, you know this is much your fault as it is mine or anyone else who passes through this security line (let's give the French a pass here)."

Him: eyes down, clearly ashamed and regretting he had picked a fight with this one particular traveler.

Me: feeling bad but not so bad. I spoke the truth. My truth.

Him, recovering: "OK, I hear what you say, Missy, but don't think I am going to vote for that Islamic maniac, Barack Obama...or whatever his name is...It is not time for a radical Muslim black man to be running the U.S. of America!"

At this point, one of his colleagues, a black woman, smacks him on the back and says, "You gotta problem with Blacks now?"

He hands me my license and boarding pass and I head to my departure gate.

I hope she castrates him, I think.

When did we become such a nation of fools?